God, life has not been very kind to me recently.

To get this out of the way, I failed my driver's test. I had a feeling I would, but it felt like a huge kick to my self-esteem. It basically means that I will have very limited means of transportation again this semester, meaning I will probably never go outside and my mental health will spiral into madness and blah blah blah.

The other thing that's been bad is that my grandmother got diagnosed with cancer. They only thought it was in her colon, but now they discovered it in her liver too. My mother is extremely upset (reasonably so), and the rest of my extended family is being so assheaded about the situation. Like, yeah, cancer is bad, but the doctors said it's really the best case scenario. But they love to make mountains out of molehills, and make anything a huge tragedy that greatly affects their own wellbeing, and not the wellbeing of the person who's going through the bad.

I haven't seen my friends in a while, we wanted to schedule a time to get some piercings done but now that's looking extremely unlikely. I miss them, but we are all so busy that finding time is so difficult.

I've been kinda creative, but I have no drive to finish my work for school. I go and look at what little needs to be finished and my stomach does somersaults. It doesn't help that I essentially need to have it done before the summer ends, but with all the shit at home I'm not even sure if that's going to be doable.

I really don't want to go back to school. I can feel the instability of my mental health about to tip into something real bad, and being on campus always has a way of making it so untolerable to deal with. The energy I was accumulating from a more relaxed summer is gone now, now that August has been such a fucking shitshow on my mental and emotional state.

I don't want to play video games. I don't want to work on this website. I don't want to go outside, or leave my room for that matter. I don't want to talk to my friends, and I don't want to engage with any of my family members. I don't have the capacity to do anything that'll enrich my life or make me more successful for my future.

All I wanna do is just go to bed and never wake up for at least 2 weeks.