Hey, it's been a hot minute. I'm currently not feeling so well, both physically and mentally. Thought it would be a good time to add another journal entry for some reason.

I don't know man, the state of the world right now actually sucks. I'm not just talking about global events, but also just things in my personal life too. I'm just very stressed because past me didn't do a good job of helping out present me, and I can tell my family is kinda going through some stuff too. We're all just kinda going through it at the moment.

Not to get all philosphical, but the thing that keeps crossing my mind is the concept of "why". I just keep thinking in my head about how nothing matters because everyone is a horrible person and there's no point in trying to do anything because at the end of the day you'll die a poor sack of shit regardless. I just want something better, something that isn't going to make my so nihilistic or whatever. I don't know what that is, and I hate knowing.

My stomach has been awful today. I don't if I ate something bad or what, but eating has been a big thumbs down. It doesn't help that it makes me feel overstimulated, so a texture/taste that's slightly off makes me feel astronomically worse.

At least my social life hasn't completely been complete shit. However, it also hasn't been making things with my current waves of depression better. It's kinda like being on a rollercoaster honestly...

I don't know, maybe I'll feel better. Maybe I won't. Maybe I need to get off my phone or delete my social media or something.