It's a cold and dreary day out today, one of the colder days so far since the summer ended. It's been lightly raining since yesterday, so everything is all foggy and soaked. It really makes me wanna stay home and make some hot chocolate or something (wait, I should actually do that).

School's been fine. My workload hasn't been too stressful (I've dealt with much worse), but I've been extremely low on energy, so I haven't been to the gym or to any real social events in a minute. I'm still talking to my studiomates though, as well as keeping in touch with my old roommate.

Speaking of my old roommate though, I haven't spoken with him much. I did go to a movie night he was hosting with other friends of his, and I'll be honest, I don't care for most of them. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but they all give off a vibe I don't mesh with. I think I also just find it difficult to relate to any of them either, which doesn't help. They're the kind of people that I think would drag me to bad places as opposed to uplift me into good ones, if that makes any sense.

I've also been noticing that my friend is changing in ways that I don't think I particularly like. Or, maybe I more mean that it's becoming concerning. Ever since he broke up with his ex, I feel that he's becoming more and more like a past self he once described to me a few times. when he was in high school he engaged in a lot of risky behavior that was concerning, like hookups and semi-excessive drinking. Obviously, I don't think these things are morally wrong, but I feel they can lead to self-destructive behaviors, or they can put you in a potentially traumatizing situation when you don't know how to handle it.

He's been telling me how he's been smoking weed a lot, something that he once told me made him uncomfortable. He's also been deadset on getting laid with as many guys he knows this year, something I think even he knew was a dangerous game before he was in a committed relationship last year. Again, I'm not saying that he's a bad person for doing these things, or even hypocritical. However, it makes me think of the stories he told about his habits from high school, and it worries me that he may go down a path where if thinks with the lower half of his body, he may end up losing control, and he'll crash and burn.

There is this strange sort of "boundary" that's being formed between us. I feel at this point he only keeps me around because it's a convenience. Actually, I feel that's how he treats all of his friends. We do have things in common, but I feel that that is starting to matter less and less. It's clear that our friendship matters to him, but it's clearly taking a backseat to whatever schemes he has planned fot this year. I honestly felt similar when he did have a boyfriend.

In the past, this did upset me greatly. Now though, I kinda don't really care anymore. Sure, I'm aware that I don't have a lot of close friends, but the people I do talk to and hang out with actually want me around, contrary to popular belief. I've been invited to parties from my studio, I've had people invite me to get bubble tea from within town. I actually have lunch and dinner with people on occasion. Even at these club events do people wish to talk to me and get to know me better!

I'm aware that once I graduate, I will probably not keep in touch with the people I knew in college, and that's fine. There will be more opportunities to meet other people, and be able to bond with them better than I ever could wth people here.